Wow

This weekend Kelly, Brett and I headed off for the NVHS Class of 2000 reunion celebration. We had an awesome time catching up with everyone (and explaining how Brett and I 'happened' to many) and in some ways, it truly felt like high school was yesterday. While I was two years younger, I knew many of the older and of course, "cooler" 2000 grads from swimming, student council, choir, etc. and I have met many more since Brett and I got together. So, last night I thankfully didn't feel like the odd man out.

As I drove everyone home, I got to thinking about the difference 10 years makes. 10 years has given all of us a lot of things, but most mentionable: hair straighteners (thank god!), tact, fashion sense, our own money, no curfews, life experiences, jobs, kids and above all, perspective. What ten years has not given us: maturity (as evidenced by my car full of screaming 28 year olds with incessant demands to stop at Taco Bell-haha!), a better physique (at least for Brett and I), a better rebound time (as evidenced by my severely dragging household this evening). In many ways, I still feel like Kelly's naive, dorky kid sister, and then I look in the mirror and realize I'm someone's mother. Crazy how life happens without us even knowing it. Wow. We're old!

Seriously?

As I sit here finally getting a much needed five minutes to myself while B and B grab dinner, I am almost doubled over with the pain most women dread every 30 days. Normally, this would not warrant a blog posting (and sorry to anyone who feels I'm crossing the line here), but this month I was 95% convinced I was pregnant again, and I am happy to say now that I am very glad that I am officially NOT pregnant. Not that another child would have been a problem- we certainly love B more than anything and would have gladly welcomed a sibling for him- but the timing would have been less than convenient.

I am pretty sure the world was trying to play a cruel joke on me this month. Granted, my life has had a ton of change lately: working to not working, not working out to working out daily, etc; but for someone that has been more than a day or two late no more than twice in my life (once when I was prego with B) to be eight, yes EIGHT days late was quite the 'fluke'. I took three pregnancy tests-all negative- and couldn't help but stress out non stop about each result.

I got to thinking about how I am ever going to be ready to be the mother of more than one. I have said to people that I feel like you become a real parent once you have two kids. With one, we haven't had many adjustments to our pre-kid lifestyle. Pretty much anywhere we go, B can come along, and if not, there are many volunteers willing to watch one child. I can't imagine two is as easy to pawn off on a friend or family member. I give so much credit to those that do more than one under two. I can't imagine it. I guess its more of a selfish thing. I'm not yet ready to give up my free time or sleep again.

I'm sure there will come a time when I will be ready- and don't get me wrong, there was a small part of me that was really excited about thinking I was pregnant, but as cute as babies are, they are a LOT of work that I can't say I'm ready for just yet. No worries (siblings!), we WILL have another one day, just not anytime soon!

Go, Go, Cardio!

This week is officially Day 2 of week 3 on my daily (or at least week-daily) workout track. I feel awesome and am already seeing a huge difference in my endurance. It has been a while since I've be able to be consistent in the gym, and with B enjoying himself in the Kids Klub (FINALLY!) I'm able to really hunker down and focus on my goals.

I never before have thought of the gym as something I enjoy doing. Its always been more of another required task on my laundry list of things to do, that I may or may not get done. Luckily, being a stay-at-home mom has really changed that outlook. I now plan my days around working out, not vice-versa. I know that I need to make it to the gym to allow myself to be healthier and a better mom, and I get a bonus by having a free 2 hours to myself each day.

I have noticed that my clothes are already starting to fit better, and I am starting to drop the poundage- 4 to be exact. I'd like to lose about 15 more pounds by Jan 1. I figure that at a rate of 1-2 lbs per week, I can easily achieve this goal. Granted, being at home makes snacking and eating junk much more tempting, but luckily between chasing around Mr. B, cleaning up toys, meals, etc and keeping up with the laundry and other house work, its tough to let snacking get the best of me. Believe it or not, I think I am busier now than I was while I was (gasp!) employed!

I am making it a goal to keep my working out up over those dreaded winter months when everything is dead, and leaving the house seems like the worst idea in the world. After all, I have a wedding to be in, in June and I refuse to be the 'fat bridesmaid.' Last year, I most certainly was (even though I was 8.5 mo pregnant), and I will not do it again!

We got "punked"

Braden and I just returned from the doctors office. After several nights of restlessness and general irritability, I decided it was time for a dreaded ear check. My child has followed in my footsteps and has had no less than 7 ear infections since he was just a few weeks old. So, when we went to see Dr. Nelson this morning, I suspected nothing less than another prescription for augmentin and a "take it easy" recommendation. So the result? "Perfect" and I quote, "perfect ears!" Yes, that's right, my 14 month old has been "punking" Brett and I for the past 3 nights. He has discovered that crying out in the middle of the night gets mom and dad to come and spend time with him at 2:30 in the morning, and fighting naps allows for more time spent with mom. Rookie mistake. I should have known, but something about suspecting an ear infection made it way too difficult to just let him cry. But now that I know, crying will become B's new favorite pasttime until he decides to return to his wonderful, sleep loving self. Until then, we will battle. And trust me, I will win!

....on another note, I was at my parent's house today, and found an old picture. Think someone looks a little like his momma?

Apple Picking

Yesterday we went apple picking with our next door neighbors and Braden's good friend, Audrie. He had a ton of fun picking and more importantly, eating every pint-sized apple he could get his hands on! His day concluded with a delicious apple donut and sippy cup full of apple cider. Yum!

Hug your loved ones

Today was a wonderful day! My mom went for her yearly checkup on her breast cancer and got AMAZING news-she is now five years cancer-free, and truthfully, I'm not sure I've ever heard her sound so relieved. Granted, my mom is a bit dramatic about the annual checkup (shocking that we're from the same gene pool!) considering hers has been one of the most minor cases I've heard of, but cancer is cancer, and it can't be easy for anyone. I feel so extremely fortunate that I am blessed enough to have both of my parents alive and (now)well, and that my son is lucky enough to have all four of his grandparents around to spoil him. Things could have gone very differently with that dreaded diagnosis, and we are so very lucky they didn't.

I'll never forget the day my parents told us about the diagnosis. I had returned from school over labor day weekend of my senior year to help close down the pool for the fall. I had gone off to work only to get a call minutes after arriving from my dad--crying. Yes, crying. I had no idea what had happened or what he was about to tell me.

"Mom has breast cancer."

It hit me like a ton of bricks. Cancer? But how? My mom is probably the healthiest, most active and fit individual I know. I just couldn't fathom the word. Cancer. My parents had both recently lost several of their closest friends to cancer, and I had watched their kids lose their parents- something I couldn't imagine going through. Immediately my brain took me to the image of my dear grandmother sitting in the hospital hooked up to tubes. I just couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that my mom was now a victim as well.

We waited and waited for news, updates, anything we could get. I said more prayers that month than I had my entire life. I made trip after trip home from school to support Mom through everything. Then, the day of her surgery came and we all waited with bated breath for the final diagnosis. The cancer was contained, had not spread to the lymph nodes and wouldn't require any further chemo or radiation. Thank goodness!

That was the best news we could have asked for. We all were so relieved and knew things could have gone very differently for us all that day. Each year, when my mom goes for the dreaded annual visit to her oncologist, we all say our prayers and hold our breath. We know how lucky we are that things happened the way they did.

Five years is quite the milestone. It means no more annual visits to the oncologist, and more importantly it means that my mom is healthy and cancer free and here for all of us and for Braden. I hugged Brett and Braden a little tighter today knowing that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Hug your loved ones and cherish the good times. Tonight I will say a prayer for all those who have struggled, are struggling or have survived cancer and for their families and friends, and I will say a prayer of thanks for giving me all that I have.

Grad School Drop-out AND Unemployed, What??

It's funny how things work themselves out in life. Over the past couple of months, Brett and I have been throwing around the idea of my quitting work and staying home with Braden. So, when we took Braden to daycare two weeks ago to find the news that our wonderful sitter was going back to work full time, it seemed like the perfect kick in the 'you know what' to speed the decision along. Ironically, the same day we got that news we also got the news that it would be virtually impossible to sell our house (even if we'd buy our way out) meaning we are 'stuck' with a low mortgage payment for an undisclosed amount of time. After much deliberation, we decided that all of these things were the world's way of telling us to seize the opportunity and have me stay at home now. I have been slightly uneasy about putting all the financial pressure on Brett, but my decision was reaffirmed this week when Braden had a very hard time when we went to work.

As I sat down to create a budget, it was almost sickening how much money I show would be "left over" after all the bills were paid and essentials accounted for on Brett's income alone. It was eye-opening to see in black and white just how much money we spend on a monthly basis. Given the budget we created, we'll still be contributing almost the same amount to savings as we do now, even without my paycheck. It made me want to rewind the clock to when we first got married. After all, with the exception of daycare expenses over the past year, we could have been putting my entire paycheck AND part of Brett's to savings! Crazy to think about really. But I guess what people say is true: if you make it, you'll spend it. I am finding that so many things I "needed" can wait. Our newest desired purchase is granite countertops for our kitchen. While I normally would have gone out and purchased after the decision was made to do so, we have decided to save for them. I know, WOW, what a concept! But really, its amazing how we had stopped making ourselves save for things. Instant gratification had taken over our lives. But, alas, we are forcing ourselves to start fresh and teach ourselves to wait for things. Today is the first day I am no longer employed. Fortunately, I'll still get one more paycheck and a small check at the end of October, so we can ease into our adjusted budget. I am so excited to spend time with Braden, that the material cut backs really don't matter. I feel so fortunate that I have a wonderful husband who is supporting this adjustment and who gives so much to help our family. I am nervous and anxious to start this new chapter, but I know that we can and will make it work.