Hug your loved ones

Today was a wonderful day! My mom went for her yearly checkup on her breast cancer and got AMAZING news-she is now five years cancer-free, and truthfully, I'm not sure I've ever heard her sound so relieved. Granted, my mom is a bit dramatic about the annual checkup (shocking that we're from the same gene pool!) considering hers has been one of the most minor cases I've heard of, but cancer is cancer, and it can't be easy for anyone. I feel so extremely fortunate that I am blessed enough to have both of my parents alive and (now)well, and that my son is lucky enough to have all four of his grandparents around to spoil him. Things could have gone very differently with that dreaded diagnosis, and we are so very lucky they didn't.

I'll never forget the day my parents told us about the diagnosis. I had returned from school over labor day weekend of my senior year to help close down the pool for the fall. I had gone off to work only to get a call minutes after arriving from my dad--crying. Yes, crying. I had no idea what had happened or what he was about to tell me.

"Mom has breast cancer."

It hit me like a ton of bricks. Cancer? But how? My mom is probably the healthiest, most active and fit individual I know. I just couldn't fathom the word. Cancer. My parents had both recently lost several of their closest friends to cancer, and I had watched their kids lose their parents- something I couldn't imagine going through. Immediately my brain took me to the image of my dear grandmother sitting in the hospital hooked up to tubes. I just couldn't wrap my brain around the fact that my mom was now a victim as well.

We waited and waited for news, updates, anything we could get. I said more prayers that month than I had my entire life. I made trip after trip home from school to support Mom through everything. Then, the day of her surgery came and we all waited with bated breath for the final diagnosis. The cancer was contained, had not spread to the lymph nodes and wouldn't require any further chemo or radiation. Thank goodness!

That was the best news we could have asked for. We all were so relieved and knew things could have gone very differently for us all that day. Each year, when my mom goes for the dreaded annual visit to her oncologist, we all say our prayers and hold our breath. We know how lucky we are that things happened the way they did.

Five years is quite the milestone. It means no more annual visits to the oncologist, and more importantly it means that my mom is healthy and cancer free and here for all of us and for Braden. I hugged Brett and Braden a little tighter today knowing that none of us are guaranteed tomorrow. Hug your loved ones and cherish the good times. Tonight I will say a prayer for all those who have struggled, are struggling or have survived cancer and for their families and friends, and I will say a prayer of thanks for giving me all that I have.

Grad School Drop-out AND Unemployed, What??

It's funny how things work themselves out in life. Over the past couple of months, Brett and I have been throwing around the idea of my quitting work and staying home with Braden. So, when we took Braden to daycare two weeks ago to find the news that our wonderful sitter was going back to work full time, it seemed like the perfect kick in the 'you know what' to speed the decision along. Ironically, the same day we got that news we also got the news that it would be virtually impossible to sell our house (even if we'd buy our way out) meaning we are 'stuck' with a low mortgage payment for an undisclosed amount of time. After much deliberation, we decided that all of these things were the world's way of telling us to seize the opportunity and have me stay at home now. I have been slightly uneasy about putting all the financial pressure on Brett, but my decision was reaffirmed this week when Braden had a very hard time when we went to work.

As I sat down to create a budget, it was almost sickening how much money I show would be "left over" after all the bills were paid and essentials accounted for on Brett's income alone. It was eye-opening to see in black and white just how much money we spend on a monthly basis. Given the budget we created, we'll still be contributing almost the same amount to savings as we do now, even without my paycheck. It made me want to rewind the clock to when we first got married. After all, with the exception of daycare expenses over the past year, we could have been putting my entire paycheck AND part of Brett's to savings! Crazy to think about really. But I guess what people say is true: if you make it, you'll spend it. I am finding that so many things I "needed" can wait. Our newest desired purchase is granite countertops for our kitchen. While I normally would have gone out and purchased after the decision was made to do so, we have decided to save for them. I know, WOW, what a concept! But really, its amazing how we had stopped making ourselves save for things. Instant gratification had taken over our lives. But, alas, we are forcing ourselves to start fresh and teach ourselves to wait for things. Today is the first day I am no longer employed. Fortunately, I'll still get one more paycheck and a small check at the end of October, so we can ease into our adjusted budget. I am so excited to spend time with Braden, that the material cut backs really don't matter. I feel so fortunate that I have a wonderful husband who is supporting this adjustment and who gives so much to help our family. I am nervous and anxious to start this new chapter, but I know that we can and will make it work.

Holy August!

So, I guess my promise to keep up with this is one that I might as well throw out the window. My time is extremely limited, and I am busy spending what free time I do have with my little family of three. This summer has been a trying one for Casa de Meurer. I have been in school 2 nights a week (3 hours a night) and still working full time, and we have been hard at work remodeling our kitchen. Sadly, between school, homework, home improvement projects, work and sleep, I truly can count the hours spent with Brett and Braden each week on 2 hands.

Regardless, we have tried to make the best of the time we do have, spending weekends at the lake or water park and trying our darnedest to get in a dinner or two as a family. Braden's Thomas the Tank Engine birthday party went off without a hitch, and we are slowly but surely getting used to our beyond-busy lives.

Brett and I started talking the other night about how things are going and I, admittedly, had a mini-meltdown. I feel like I never see him and I NEVER see Braden. It seems so unfair to me that I only get to see my son for an hour in the morning (if that) and for an hour 3 nights a week before bed. Other than that, we do get Sundays as a family, but they always go too fast. I know that so many people in the world make it work, and that in the long run Braden will never know I was gone so much, but no matter what he knows, I care, and I want to see my kid!

We started discussing our options when it comes to the next 18 months before I'm done with the working parent/student gig, and what solution would keep us sane. In the end, the only decision that will likely work for us is for me to stay at home with Braden during the day and to go to school at night. I'll have four classes left to take as of January, and I can make it work to take all 4 that semester. If I do that, I'll have the summer off, student teach from September to December and be ready to job search in January of 2012. That gives me 8 months at home with my son and time to unwind before embarking on a new career path. We are still working out the kinks, and will definitely have to adjust our lifestyle, but we think it is worth material sacrifices to preserve our mental and emotional stability.

While I feel selfish for choosing to do this while we have a child to support, I know that we can make it work. I know that we definitely spend more money than necessary, and that many families make it work on much less. Sure, we'll be stuck in our house longer, and we may have to go without a vacation next year, but it's worth it to be together. Sometimes stay-cations are just as good as travelling anyway.

I've still got a good 3-4 months of work minimum ahead of me, so our goal is to maintain on Brett's checks alone until then and to put my entire paycheck into savings. If we can do that, we know we'll be able to make it once I'm not working, which will make the whole process much easier to adjust to. Nothing is definite yet, but I'm not gonna lie- I am super excited if we can make it work. I'm not sure that many people could maintain sanity on my schedule right now, and I'd obviously prefer to lighten the load. Not to mention, I could have the opportunity to really bond with Braden before any other babies grace the Meurer household. In 10 years, I think having that time with him will be worth so much more than the money I would have made in a year.

Mommy's First Birthday

So, the weeks have gotten away from me yet again, and I figured I'd better blog again before I start school tomorrow and lose all sense of free time I have. I have missed blogging about my first Mother's Day, Brett's first birthday as a dad, Braden's first swim....

Gosh, time goes so fast. I am finding it nearly impossible to believe that my little guy is about to turn one!Maybe that has something to do with the fact that I was in a sleep-deprived fog for the first three months of his life, but seriously, how has this year gone so fast?! I don't feel old enough to have turned 26 today, but I truly feel like the "best years of my life" have just arrived.

Being a mom is one of the best things in the world, and is worth every extra dollar, every day more stressful, every night with less sleep. I feel like 26 is the best birthday I've ever had. I awoke to a still-sleeping baby at 6:30 am (fabulous!) followed by a vast array of gifts from my wonderful husband and son, a celebratory lunch, cake and birthday song at work, followed by an early dismissal.

Today was Braden's first day at our friend, Michelle's for the day. He absolutely LOVED it and met me with a HUGE smile on his face and a card to boot. I think he is going to be very happy spending three days a week with Michelle, Luke, McKenna and their dog Cooper. He thinks Cooper is the funniest thing in the world, and it truly makes me want to consider getting a dog.

Overall, Mommy's "first" birthday was truly wonderful. I've never been so happy to have had a typical day. I have felt so loved and blessed all day. Thank you to everyone who has made my day so special.

Uh oh, Here Comes Braden!

Watch out, world. The littlest Meurer is most certainly on the move, and only weeks (maybe days) away from walking. He is pulling up on everything in sight, crawling faster than I can catch and is rather proud of himself for doing all of the above. He is also quite easily engrossed in television and books and has absolutely fallen in love with 'Thomas' and 'Chica', two PBS shows that we have playing 'on demand' quite often.

Today, when I got home from work, he was so involved in watching TV, that he didn't even realize I had walked in the door. When he finally did, he crawled as fast as he could over to me, smiling and giggling the whole way, following his charade with a great big hug.

Moments like that are why I love being a mom. There is nothing, absolutely NOTHING like the look on that little boy's face when he sees me or Brett. We get the same reaction first thing in the morning, when we pick him up from daycare, or whenever he catches a glimpse of us from across the room (whether its been 5 seconds or 5 hours since we last saw). No matter what I have dealt with throughout the day, he has the ability to make everything better with that one little toothy grin.

Wow! What a week!

We have had quite the busy last week or so at our house. We finally gave in and decided to get new carpet in the house, got our built-in cabinets installed, spent Easter with BOTH families, and I got officially admitted to school. It seems like so much can change so quickly these days.

I will be starting school at Aurora University in their Elementary Education Masters program on June 10th. Crazy, time has flown so fast! It will be a very busy year with work AND school, followed by 16 weeks of student teaching, but in the end I think it will be well worth it!

Today I got to thinking that Brett and I will celebrate 2 years married in about a month. It seems SO much longer than that! I know that is mostly because we have done so much in 2 short years, and Braden certainly is a HUGE part of that; but I can't help but think we've been together FOREVER already. It seems unbelievable that Little B will turn 1 year old in less than 4 months!

Brett and I have collectively decided that 8 months is the perfect age. Braden is so much fun and has such a little personality already. He is starting to really understand the world around him, and is smiling and giggling more than ever. His new favorite trick is "pointing" at each and every thing he sees. When Brett gets home from work, the pointing and squealing that results from the first glimpse Braden gets of his daddy is incredible. I am truly amazed at how much our little man learns each day.

I told Brett today that, while I know logically that it is WAY too soon to be thinking about #2 yet, the thought definitely crosses my mind on a daily basis. Babies grow way too fast and Little B is already resembling a little boy- no longer a baby! I miss the little baby that fell asleep on my chest and was always where I left him if I walked away for a minute or two. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutely loving the little boy he has become, its just sad how quickly the "baby" stage ends. It will be at least another couple of years before we'll get to have a "baby-baby" again, so I guess we'll enjoy the busy, ever-changing, full-of-personality bundle that we have right now.

Extreme Home Makeover: Meurer Edition

When Brett first bought our home in Novemeber 2006, he was convinced we'd be here for "Two, maybe three years-tops...." The plan was to make a decent profit, and use that profit to buy a much nicer single family home. Given the state of the economy, however, it seems we are going to be stuck here quite a bit longer. Our community was never finished and our builder left 8 or 9 brand new townhomes when he foreclosed. The bad news for us: if we sell now, which we'd love to, we will probably take about a $40,000 -$50,000 bath. Obviously, we are not interested in doing that, so we are staying put for now.

Since we're stuck here longer than anticipated, we need to do something drastic to "make it work" around here. Our storage is extremely limited, and we are trying to keep Little B's toys separate from our "adult space"- which is not proving to be successful the way were are set up now. So, now that the tax return is in, its time to begin the makeover. Item #1 is moving everything out of our basement to create a playroom of sorts for the little man. I met with a builder yesterday who will be installing a full wall of custom built-in storage for us in the basement. This will hopefully alleviate the 'toys eating our house' issue of late. The problem being, there is so much more to do and it is unfortunately NOT cheap! Our "to do" list for now remains:

-Get new carpeting or get carpets professionally cleaned (I'm pulling for new!)

-Get new curtain rod and curtains for over patio door

-Windows washed

-Finish buying and hanging shelves in hallways to accomodate our thousands of framed pictures

We look forward to gradually checking things off our list (and hopefully not adding many more!).